Ugh. I’m sorry that last post was so depressing. I’ll really try to do better on this one. This whole situation I find myself in is something I’m not really experienced with. It’s not really the ‘failure’ part that is bothering me. I mean, I have failed so many times in my life, and while it’s certainly not awesome, it’s just part of life, and I’m fine with that. What makes this one so difficult, is that I’ve never had a failure shake me so much – this one goes right down to the core. It’s completely blown my confidence and caused me question everything about who I am and what my place is in this world. No matter what I’ve done in life, this has always been the dream. That shop was built with my blood, sweat, and tears. From the layout to the fixtures to the products, even down to the color of the paint on the walls and the style of doorknobs on the doors. Everything. I was at the shop every single day during the 7-month construction phase, working with the architect, standing in line at the city pulling permits, overseeing the work, running errands for the contractor, and probably driving every single one of them bat-sh*t-crazy. During the first year and a half, I was at the shop every single day – if the doors were open, I was there. Hell, even if the doors weren’t open I was probably there. And if I wasn’t there, I was at home planning and researching and forecasting and plotting and dreaming and… I was like a new mother with a first child. Is the baby comfortable? Is the baby too cold? Is he baby too warm? Is the baby getting enough to eat? Is the baby getting enough sleep? And doesn’t my baby look cute in his new outfit from Baby Gap and SURE you can hold the baby, but be sure to use the hand sanitizer first! This was my baby, I was responsible for it and with God as my witness, it was going to grow up brilliant and gifted and destined for greatness. And for four-and-a-half years it was, and then it swallowed a piece of Lego it found on the floor and died a horrible choking, spasming death right there in front of me and I was powerless to save it.
Too far with the baby analogy?
But the point is, this was the dream, the one thing that sits in your imagination and your heart. The shining light on a hill that keeps you motivated and moving forward through the bullsh*t life throws at you because one day, one day, it will all be worth it because you have finally achieved your dreams. And I had it and it was awesome. And now it’s gone, and I don’t know what to do except sit here and obsess over every minute detail and wonder where I went wrong and what I should have done differently. And for the first time in my life, I don’t see anything in the future and that scares me. I was told yesterday to be patient and just give it some time. Patience. Not really a particular strength of mine.
So clearly I failed at the whole “let’s make this post a little more positive” thing, so can I make it up to you with a happy little recipe? Pickled Cherries! Those of you who have never had pickled cherries before, you’re in for a treat. These are awesome little additions to a charcuterie board – the slight tang of the cherries helps cut the fatty richness of the cured meats – but they are equally as addicting right out of the jar. We used these extensively in the shop, in fact, we had two versions: the first was a quick pickled cherry using pitted fresh cherries that we used in some of our catering, and the other is this recipe, using whole unpitted cherries (and their stems). They take a little longer to cure (3 weeks vs. 6-8 hours for the quick pickled version), but the flavor is totally worth it. The pits give the cherries a much better, firmer texture, and leaving a least some of the stems intact adds a little touch of tannin to the finished product.
Use the ripest most delicious cherries you can find. Here in Southern California, the best cherries show up in mid-to-late June. We would buy them by the caseload and spend a couple of weeks canning them to use throughout the year. I’ve scaled the recipe back to make 2 quart jars (or 4 pint jars) – you may have a small amount of leftover cherries and brine, just pit them and put them in a bowl with the brine and refrigerate overnight to enjoy while you wait for the whole ones to cure. Caution: these are highly addictive!
Pickled Cherries
Completely addictive! A perfect complement to your cheese and charcuterie boards, or try it in your favorite salad.
Ingredients
- 2 Quart-sized, or 4 pint-sized canning jar with lids and bands
- 2 ½ lbs cherries
- 1 few sprigs of fresh Tarragon
- 3 cups apple cider vinegar
- 1/3 cup of water
- 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 2 whole cloves
- 1 teaspoon whole allspice
- 1 teaspoon black peppercorns
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Directions
- Clean and sterilize jars. Place bands and lids in a small pan of water on the stove and bring to a simmer until ready to use.
- Wash and sort through the cherries, removing any that are damaged or bruised. Using a fork, poke each cherry to help the brine penetrate. Pack the cherries into the jars, including one sprig of Tarragon in each jar.
- Place all of the other ingredients into a medium sized sauce pan and bring to a boil over medium high heat, then reduce to low and simmer for 20 minutes.
- Remove brine from heat, and using a fork, carefully remove the 2 whole cloves and discard. Remove the cinnamon from the brine and break into large pieces, distributing them evenly into the jars of cherries. Pour the hot brine over the cherries, making sure the remaining spices are evenly distributed throughout the jars (you may want to strain the brine and then divide up the spices, whatever is easiest for you). On the rare chance you don’t have enough brine to cover the cherries, just top with a little apple cider vinegar. Be sure to leave the proper headspace in the jar as required for canning.
- Place the lids on each jar and screw on the bands (but don’t over-tighten!) Place the jars right-side up in a hot water canner and add enough water to cover the jars by at least one inch. Bring to a boil and continue boiling for 10 minutes.
- Cool completely. Once cooled, make sure all jars have sealed properly and store in a cool place for at least 3 weeks. Any jars that have not sealed should be stored in the refrigerator until ready to eat.
The Dispirited Cheesemonger 